Years ago, hope usually took a female form. Why female? -- I don't know. I'd lay in bed, barely awake, fantasizing about some artistic lady who caught my fancy -- some passionate and intense woman-artist who would take center stage in my life: someone who might inspire me to unseen heights (and someone I could inspire as well); someone who might enter my life story, like a central plot point, and play a pivotal role. She was always an artist, in my mind: someone magical, empathic, passionate, and headstrong. The thought that I'd meet this female counterpart -- my better (lost) female half -- and find some measure of completion -- would be enough to motivate me, spring me out of bed, pull me through the day.
These days, two failed marriages later, car crashes, endless failures, etc., etc .... what's the thought that fills me with hope? Well, here it is: that after taking my daily run, I'll finally get my big morning reward: a heaping bowl of fuckin' Sugar Smacks cereal. Eaten alone. At my own pace.
I guess you start out in life with massive expectations ... but in the end, you finally realize that just having a moment of peace is perfectly fine.
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Yum.
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Yours at --------> AMAZON!
PERMANENT OBSCURITY: Or a Cautionary Tale of Two Girls and Their Misadventures with Drugs, Pornography and Death by Dolores Santana (as told to Richard Perez)
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Permanent Obscurity: Or A Cautionary Tale
Of Two Girls
And Their Misadventures
With Drugs, Pornography
And Death
Of Two Girls
And Their Misadventures
With Drugs, Pornography
And Death
by
Dolores Santana
(as told to Richard Perez)
Dolores Santana
(as told to Richard Perez)
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